.
The Ong Family (++) on Christmas Day
(L-R: Top--brother-in-law, sister, me, sister, bro's girlfriend, bro
Bottom-- mom and dad)
They say home is where the heart is. But what happens when your heart is torn between two places? Where is home then? Six months of living in Singapore has made me start viewing this city as home...but at the same time, I also feel that Manila will always still be home.
Sometimes, when I'm here in Singapore, I feel like I'm different from the Jen in Manila. Why do I always have a hard time reconciling the two? Somehow, when my two worlds collide and overlap, I feel a clench in my heart. I want to be both persons in the same body and mind, but I can't. Can the two Jens really not reconcile? Or is it because the Jen in Manila is a figment, an ideal I hold on to, a past version of me that I have frozen? The next question that comes then is: why am I clinging on to a me in the past?
Is it because the me of the past is my link to home -- that without it, the connection would be severed, that people would not know how to relate to a slightly different me, or worse, that -I- myself wouldn't be able to relate to some people.
Stace and I were talking on the bus ride two nights ago about how the lives of the different members of the Breakfast Club, our high school gang of friends, were moving in separate paths. Entering college really is a turning point, more so for us ICAns because we had gone to the same school for thirteen years. Everyone in the Bfast Club seems to be having their own lives in college -- Elle, Barbs and Coco are in Ateneo, Gots is in UST, Sam and Bea are in LaSalle, Noey's in Canada and Stace and I are here in Singapore. Even though the gang doesn't hang out as often as we used to before in high school (imagine -- we were classmates, groupmates for projects, lunch buddies, and so on...you get the picture), it's nice to know that every now and then we (or at least the ones in Manila!) still meet up to catch up. It's also comforting to know that every time Stace and I go back to Manila, the whole gang comes together to reunite and for a few beautiful hours, we are transported back to how things were in high school, laughing over the silliest things, gossiping over everything and everyone, and sharing our most private thoughts and problems with the group of friends that we grew up with, that knows us inside out. Every time we meet up, it's reassuring to know that in this fast paced, changing world, some things don't change. I can't believe that I'm not gonna see the gang until mid-May -- that's three more months from now.
The Breakfast Club
Here's to late night sessions of doing IP, to sleepovers where we always wind up sleeping, to kiss-and-tell, to Jollibee breakfasts, to CAT memories, to Grat, to formal Christmas dinners, to all our Gerry's Grill reunions, to all the proms/balls/debuts, to bonding, to the past, to the present, to the future, to our lives.
The Ong Family (++) on Christmas Day
(L-R: Top--brother-in-law, sister, me, sister, bro's girlfriend, bro
Bottom-- mom and dad)
They say home is where the heart is. But what happens when your heart is torn between two places? Where is home then? Six months of living in Singapore has made me start viewing this city as home...but at the same time, I also feel that Manila will always still be home.
Sometimes, when I'm here in Singapore, I feel like I'm different from the Jen in Manila. Why do I always have a hard time reconciling the two? Somehow, when my two worlds collide and overlap, I feel a clench in my heart. I want to be both persons in the same body and mind, but I can't. Can the two Jens really not reconcile? Or is it because the Jen in Manila is a figment, an ideal I hold on to, a past version of me that I have frozen? The next question that comes then is: why am I clinging on to a me in the past?
Is it because the me of the past is my link to home -- that without it, the connection would be severed, that people would not know how to relate to a slightly different me, or worse, that -I- myself wouldn't be able to relate to some people.
Stace and I were talking on the bus ride two nights ago about how the lives of the different members of the Breakfast Club, our high school gang of friends, were moving in separate paths. Entering college really is a turning point, more so for us ICAns because we had gone to the same school for thirteen years. Everyone in the Bfast Club seems to be having their own lives in college -- Elle, Barbs and Coco are in Ateneo, Gots is in UST, Sam and Bea are in LaSalle, Noey's in Canada and Stace and I are here in Singapore. Even though the gang doesn't hang out as often as we used to before in high school (imagine -- we were classmates, groupmates for projects, lunch buddies, and so on...you get the picture), it's nice to know that every now and then we (or at least the ones in Manila!) still meet up to catch up. It's also comforting to know that every time Stace and I go back to Manila, the whole gang comes together to reunite and for a few beautiful hours, we are transported back to how things were in high school, laughing over the silliest things, gossiping over everything and everyone, and sharing our most private thoughts and problems with the group of friends that we grew up with, that knows us inside out. Every time we meet up, it's reassuring to know that in this fast paced, changing world, some things don't change. I can't believe that I'm not gonna see the gang until mid-May -- that's three more months from now.
The Breakfast Club
Here's to late night sessions of doing IP, to sleepovers where we always wind up sleeping, to kiss-and-tell, to Jollibee breakfasts, to CAT memories, to Grat, to formal Christmas dinners, to all our Gerry's Grill reunions, to all the proms/balls/debuts, to bonding, to the past, to the present, to the future, to our lives.
--
Chinese New Year's Eve started with lunch with Kaypee, Stace and Clarence at Crystal Jade. It was Xiao Long Bao madness. Ahhhhh. Craving for xlb satisfied, finally. Grabbed gelato afterwards in the Taka food court. Sinful. Mmmm.
I was invited to dinner by my host mom that night. As the cab driver drove past her street, I was amazed by the row of beautiful houses that I passed. I'm so used to seeing HDBs and condos that I'm always surprised when I see houses -- actual ones with yards and two stories and gates and all. Dinner was scrumptious -- traditional steamboat and lots of finger foods. I ended the night by going over to Caca's place in Tanglin and hanging out with the SMU Pinoys.
--
I woke up this morning to let the maid in Stace's flat and proceeded down to the pool for a morning swim. I swam 10 laps -- which isn't really much, but I was able to do 7 laps straight at least. I never realized that my endurance is increasing and it makes me happy cause I only started running a month and a half ago. I'm planning to join the NUS biathlon in March. Omg who would've thought I'd turn into an exercise addict? I just love the rush of endorphins and the tired but fulfilled feeling of crashing into bed at night.
--
I like starting new years on the right foot -- and I had a chance to get rid of the old and bad three times this year already: during New Year's, my 19th birthday and now Chinese New Year. Third time's the charm. Hopefully this year goes well for all. :)
Chinese New Year's Eve started with lunch with Kaypee, Stace and Clarence at Crystal Jade. It was Xiao Long Bao madness. Ahhhhh. Craving for xlb satisfied, finally. Grabbed gelato afterwards in the Taka food court. Sinful. Mmmm.
I was invited to dinner by my host mom that night. As the cab driver drove past her street, I was amazed by the row of beautiful houses that I passed. I'm so used to seeing HDBs and condos that I'm always surprised when I see houses -- actual ones with yards and two stories and gates and all. Dinner was scrumptious -- traditional steamboat and lots of finger foods. I ended the night by going over to Caca's place in Tanglin and hanging out with the SMU Pinoys.
--
I woke up this morning to let the maid in Stace's flat and proceeded down to the pool for a morning swim. I swam 10 laps -- which isn't really much, but I was able to do 7 laps straight at least. I never realized that my endurance is increasing and it makes me happy cause I only started running a month and a half ago. I'm planning to join the NUS biathlon in March. Omg who would've thought I'd turn into an exercise addict? I just love the rush of endorphins and the tired but fulfilled feeling of crashing into bed at night.
--
I like starting new years on the right foot -- and I had a chance to get rid of the old and bad three times this year already: during New Year's, my 19th birthday and now Chinese New Year. Third time's the charm. Hopefully this year goes well for all. :)
4 comments:
jenny, naiyak ako :'( we miss you all vair much <3 MWAH! -elle :)
Hahaha awwww thanks babe :) I miss you too :(:(:( mag-update ka naman ng blOG! tell us about your many boys haha
Aww Jen, that's sooo sweet. :D we miss you all too, can't wait to meet up again!
I miss you and I love you. :(
*hug*
Post a Comment