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LIFE VS LOVE.
Stace and I were having a long YM conversation about life and love. It got me thinking and I'll throw this question back to all of you. Which would you choose -- life or love? (By love, I mean the romantic, cheesy, sappy boyfriend-girlfriend, Jerry-Maguire-ish-you-complete-me kinda love.) Take the case of long-distance relationships. I've always been against them because being in an LDR holds the two people from truly living their lives in the different places they're in. You can never live your life fully in that place with someone tying you down. Relationships take work (no kidding) and lots of time so inevitably, the time you could be spending establishing your life in the new place would be spent on keeping your relationship intact.
But if you look at the flip side and think about the commitment and the devotion LDR couples have, you can't help but feel a sense of admiration and respect for them. It's definitely not easy and the fact that you can place so much faith on something shaky and seemingly unsustainable is astounding. It's a brave decision to invest so much in something that you're not even sure will work out. Well, I suppose that logic applies to almost any relationship but long-distance relationships are different. With normal relationships (sounds wrong, but I can't seem to think of any other way to describe it), your two lives merge and your worlds collide and intertwine. That's not necessarily the case in an LDR. In an LDR, you have two different worlds and it's not as easy to merge the two. You will inevitably try living in both worlds and the time and energy is divided between the two. Which brings me back to the subject of LDR couples and how it's amazing really that they can choose love over life. Relationships involve sacrifices and you know that it's love when you can make these kinds of sacrifices.
(And no, Kaypee, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. Hahaha.)
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I woke up today feeling incredibly happy and bouncy. I just feel...light and trouble-free. I let go of some things over the weekend and it feels good to be free. It's a big burden off my back. I was seriously stressed out the past two weeks. Mental exhaustion is horrible, but emotional exhaustion is the worst. At the end of the day, all you want to do is collapse into bed and fall asleep -- because at least you don't have to care so much when you're asleep.
I met up with Itt after Math lecture for ice cream to discuss about our relationship qualms, our plans for Valentine's (dinner with friends), other people's lives and our academic concerns. This semester, I felt that my friendships with people have been growing stronger. Perhaps you just need to get past the initial stage of getting to know one another and eventually you settle into a nice groove with them.
Itt. Kid at heart but wise beyond his years. Relationship qualms listener and weekly lunch mate. Also a budding chef who inspired me to start cooking. Photo taken at the Old-fashioned Kopi Tiam in KL.
After meeting with Itt, I went to Vivo City where I checked the price of ... breast pumps...for my pregnant sister. Seriously. It was kinda embarrassing to be going around the baby stores and to see the smirk on the saleslady's face when I asked if they had breast pumps. I wonder if the people thought that -I- was the one who needed them. I so do not look pregnant. I wound up splurging on some basic tops in Forever 21 (khaki and white spag, white and dark grey long sleeved tees) and a pair of black heels from Charles and Keith. Spent around $70 which is pretty decent considering I got a lot of stuff. Felt incredibly guilty though on the way home but I figured that Mom gave me extra money for my birthday and it was a birthday treat for myself.
Just finished watching CMB concert half an hour ago. Cheryl, you are one rocker chick. That's all I can say. Some people made my heart melt and made Kaypee drool uncontrollably on the inside. Teehee. Listening to "Kiss from a Rose" made me sad though. I always attach people and memories to songs and I suddenly remembered something that I was trying to push away. Oh well. Things come, things go -- it's a fact of life.
After meeting with Itt, I went to Vivo City where I checked the price of ... breast pumps...for my pregnant sister. Seriously. It was kinda embarrassing to be going around the baby stores and to see the smirk on the saleslady's face when I asked if they had breast pumps. I wonder if the people thought that -I- was the one who needed them. I so do not look pregnant. I wound up splurging on some basic tops in Forever 21 (khaki and white spag, white and dark grey long sleeved tees) and a pair of black heels from Charles and Keith. Spent around $70 which is pretty decent considering I got a lot of stuff. Felt incredibly guilty though on the way home but I figured that Mom gave me extra money for my birthday and it was a birthday treat for myself.
Just finished watching CMB concert half an hour ago. Cheryl, you are one rocker chick. That's all I can say. Some people made my heart melt and made Kaypee drool uncontrollably on the inside. Teehee. Listening to "Kiss from a Rose" made me sad though. I always attach people and memories to songs and I suddenly remembered something that I was trying to push away. Oh well. Things come, things go -- it's a fact of life.
3 comments:
what's the CMB concert?
"I've always been against them because being in an LDR holds the two people from truly living their lives in the different places they're in. You can never live your life fully in that place with someone tying you down."
I'm not a believer in long-distance relationships myself, but I think anyone who is in one (at least one that is going well) would disagree with your statement that they can't live full lives. Perhaps the knowledge that in another city/state/country is a person who loves him/her gives him/her MORE freedom to live to the fullest, and not less. What to you seems a restraint that keeps them "tied down" may be to them a secure lifeline that allows them to go places and experience things, given the comfort and courage they derive from their relationship.
Granted, in our current state of singlehood (*ahem*), it's easy for us to say that life is more important than love. But the time may come when we'll think differently, when we'll actually have a love that is worth "living less" for. That kind of sacrifice, after all, is essential to love.
Indeed, in this context, I revert to the original answer I gave you to the question of life vs. love: life IS love. So to make 2 people in love choose between the two is pretty much impossible. :)
"In an LDR, you have two different worlds and it's not as easy to merge the two."
Hmm.. I actually think that this is one of the good things about being in an LDR, the fact that you both have different lives--apart from each other. It's hardly constricting at all. But then, of course,that's just me.
I like the layout of your blog. Blogger seems cooler than LJ!
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